Saturday, February 2, 2008

No One is Forgetting Poland This Time!


So apparently we're building a missile defense system in Poland.

Whatever.

Missile defense systems based on the ground are so lame. If it's not based in space and named after a sci-fi movie *cough*STAR WARS*cough* then I'm not interested. I'm surprised they could get Bush interested in it. During his first term I remember all this talk about him trying to resurrect the Star Wars program, but it was soon forgotten. Legend says that W was sitting cross-legged, going through old files when he came across a folder marked "Star Wars Project". Witnesses report that Bush whispered"Shit yeah," and then ran into Cheney's office, waving the folder and shouting.

Either way, Russia is pissed off. Again, whatever. What is Russia going to do? I picture the average Russian as an old lady in a hovel, hunched over a bowl of soup made out of cabbage and unfounded national pride. I picture the average American as a square-jawed quarterback cruising down the wrong side of the road in his H2 that runs off of gasoline and fear.
Now which one of these stereotypes needs a missile defense shield?

Putin has been talking strongly of late, saying that it will use nuclear means to defend "THE MOTHERLAND" and "HER COMRADES". He specifically threatened that he would point missiles at European cities if the US puts the missile shield up, which is basically pointing a gun into somebody's face. But it's all unfounded, Russia isn't going to do jack shit about anything.

They're like Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite, always talking about the past and how cool they used to be, but now they're living in a trailer in the middle of nowhere and at the end of the movie some chick visits them (that chick is Finland).

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