Monday, September 10, 2007

Liberals More Likely to Be Open-Minded, Conservatives More Likely to Be Self-Oppressed Homosexuals

The LA Times had an article today about the differences in the minds of Liberals and Conservatives. No word on the rampant self-oppressed sexual proclivities in today's Conservative culture, though (*cough* Mark Foley, Bill O'Reilly, Larry Craig*cough*). FTA:

"Each participant was wired to an electroencephalograph that recorded activity in the anterior cingulate cortex, the part of the brain that detects conflicts between a habitual tendency (pressing a key) and a more appropriate response (not pressing the key). Liberals had more brain activity and made fewer mistakes than conservatives when they saw a W, researchers said. Liberals and conservatives were equally accurate in recognizing M."
Besides being having ninja-like reflexes when recognizing the alphabet, Liberals are apparently better at dealing with change and supporting innovation.

"Analyzing the data, Sulloway said liberals were 4.9 times as likely as conservatives to show activity in the brain circuits that deal with conflicts, and 2.2 times as likely to score in the top half of the distribution for accuracy...

...Based on the results, he said, liberals could be expected to more readily accept new social, scientific or religious ideas.

"There is ample data from the history of science showing that social and political liberals indeed do tend to support major revolutions in science," said Sulloway, who has written about the history of science and has studied behavioral differences between conservatives and liberals.""
Well, saying that Liberals deal with change better might be putting a spin on it. Would it sound better if I just said that "Liberals aren't quasi-solipsist elitists who throw tantrums when they see two dudes kissing". Because, really, this is a no-spin zone (©Fox News), and I'd like to keep it as conservative friendly as possible (sorry guys, I don't have any nude pictures of congressional pages).

I don't even know why they needed to hook college students up to an electroencephalograph. Christ, just look at the kind of music that conservatives make. Ted Nugent's biggest hit was "Cat Scratch Fever". Have you heard that song? If you haven't, then enjoy the fact that you can sleep.
John Malkovich, a conservative actor, has played the same fucking character in every movie he's been in. He played an intergalactic politician/messiah in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, and he acted exactly the same when he played himself in Being John Malkovich.

To be honest, though, I don't know that John Malkovich isn't an intergalactic politician/messiah. He very well could be.

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