Saturday, September 29, 2007

Saturday Night Fun With Stats

Since I am a complete waste of space and have nothing to do on a Saturday night other than read articles, I am doing a roundup of stats that I found entertaining.

1. Faith in the Federal Government is now at Watergate levels. A new Gallup poll shows that people's confidence in the executive branch is at 43%. Nixon's lowest was 40%. This shows that, if you rape people of their rights, run the country into debt and kill off soldiers without much reason, it will take Americans six years to notice there's a problem. Today I left my laundry in the washer for seven hours, so I guess I can't say I'm any better.

2. The divorce rate in America is at its lowest level since the 70s. So why do people think that marriage is dying? Maybe it's because social conservatives want people to think that marriage is too fragile to withstand gays getting married. Because if two dudes filed their taxes together and got on the same insurance plan then things would really start turning to shit.
Isn't it kind of strange how when people talk about marriage, it seems like they're talking about a human? Marriage is fragile, we don't want to violate it. I picture athropomorphized marriage as a little girl wearing a white sun dress, running through a field of wheat? Then, as she makes her way across a small dell, she comes upon two men having intercourse behind a barn. Marriage then grows up to be a prostitute and dies because she mixed heroin and cocaine.

3. Republican voters have heads filled with cotton candy. Sweet, sweet cotton candy. Seriously, how the hell can you want Mitt Romney to be our president? The man is beyond detestable. He said helping him become president was as much a service to our country as being US soldier. Giving your life vs. helping Mitt Romney. I, personally, would chug a beaker of sulfuric acid than spend 10 minutes with Romney.
And how the hell can Giuliani be number two? Look at the shit this guy tries to pull. Of course he blames it on the one thing his campaign is built around: 9/11. Huuuuge surprise.

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